While caring is a simple concept to understand, the word “carer” can feel like a foreign term to many people – even for some carers who are supporting a family member or friend through a cancer journey. To them, the unpaid support they provide is second nature, a labour of love. However, just because this care can feel natural, it does not mean it is easy.
Cancer is consuming, for those diagnosed and those who love them. In fact, in 2021, carers were 2.5 times more likely to experience lower wellbeing than the average Australian. Carer burnout is a very real issue that impacts families, communities and our health system.
The caring role can be difficult and isolating. There is no right way of coping with the challenges faced and it can be easy to be critical of yourself. That is why it is so important to take care and remind yourself that:
It is okay to take advantage of the down time
The caring role can be exhausting, physically and emotionally, which can interfere with your sleep patterns and ability to get rest. This can leave you feeling tired and depleted which can lead to mistakes, poor focus, flat mood, low energy, and the list goes on.
Try to take advantage of the slower periods in your day and night. While the to do list may seem never-ending, ensuring you get rest when you have the opportunity can re-energise your body and mind.
If you are finding it hard to quiet your thoughts, it can help to listen to recorded meditations or relaxations.
It is okay to pursue the activities you enjoy
While a cancer diagnosis turns lives upside down, it is still alright for you to take time for you when you can.
We often hear from busy carers who feel guilty when they take a break or find happiness in other activities. However, this respite can make a significant difference in avoiding burnout and boosting health.
Exercise can be a powerful tool in this respect. Research shows that one to two hours of exercise a week reduces the risk of certain illnesses like heart disease, dementia, and mental illness.
Similar to exercise, getting out in the sun can help with maintaining your mental health. The vitamin D and fresh air can make a real difference to your mood and improve your quality of sleep.
It is okay to sit in your feelings
If you are caring for someone with cancer, it is completely normal to feel a range of emotions. Negative emotions in particular can be uncomfortable and confronting.
We often hear from carers who feel confused or overwhelmed by the appointments, options (and at times lack of) and barriers faced when trying to seek cancer treatment and support for a family member or friend.
It is also common for carers to try to push these emotions aside. Some people do this to avoid the negativity. Others report feeling ashamed of these reactions when their loved one is “going through much worse.”
While this evasion can be helpful in the short-term, acknowledging and sitting in your feelings is often a more productive way of working through your emotions and ensuring they do not manifest elsewhere.
But remember to take it easy on yourself, and you do not have to face this alone.
It is okay to seek help
If you are struggling, there is help available. You can:
- Speak to your GP – they can suggest coping strategies, refer you to a specialist or create a mental health plan for you.
- Talk to your loved ones – continuing to connect with your family and friends is important to combat feelings of isolation.
- Arm yourself with resources – there are many mental health organisations that provide useful information, resources, and phone and online support, like Lifeline and Beyond Blue.
- Meet other carers – support groups can help connect you with others who are experiencing similar feelings or challenges. You can join our Carers Support Group online or on the phone by emailing [email protected]
- We’re here if you need – our Patient Support Team is available to talk to carers who need help navigating their options, or just need a kind ear to listen. You can call us on 1800 257 600 or email [email protected]